Top funny one liners. Jokes Top 100 2019-05-10

Top funny one liners Rating: 4,5/10 878 reviews

Rodney Dangerfield's Best One

top funny one liners

Where are all these extra single socks coming from?! Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. Dangerfield expired on October 6, 2004, and his death created a void. Scold enough out here to go ice skating. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. A: Because he took a short-cut. She was wearing massive gloves. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

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135 Best Funny Corny Jokes and Cheesy One Liners

top funny one liners

But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that. Do you have a map? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? Q: What did the man say to the wall? One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison. That means i talk down to people. For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.

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42 Funny One Liner Jokes

top funny one liners

I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat. No one lost ahead of you! These are clean jokes that will appeal to both the old and young, as well as the kids. Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? Some cause happiness wherever they go. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? Only dead fish go with the flow.

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Jokes Top 100

top funny one liners

Aida sandwich for lunch today. I don't know and I don't care. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? When I woke up, my pillow was gone. We are all part of the ultimate statistic — ten out of ten die. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. Fiction has to make sense.

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Funny One

top funny one liners

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia. . Photo: Flickr A skeleton walks into a bar. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

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Jokes Top 100

top funny one liners

So deaf people can enjoy them too. Start a fight with somebody when they have the hiccoughs! Read more: I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. Then I took a second look!! A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. If you liked these then you should check out the. Although it does involve a lot of Angry Birds.

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Best One Line Jokes for a Great Laugh

top funny one liners

I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. The problem is no one runs in your family. What about a construction joke? It seemed very important to him that I have it. I intend to live forever… or die trying. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Here is some more One liner jokes Created by Robert Beardwell Top-Funny-Jokes. So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger. Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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50+ Painfully Funny One Liners

top funny one liners

I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium? Why are ghosts bad liars? A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you. The ole funny one liners… The one liner is that classical that is delivered in a single line. There are many one-liners that help give the summation of life in just a few words. .

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One

top funny one liners

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. I could talk about classic card games all day. Q: What do they call cans in Mexico? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. But on the plus side — only three more sleeps till Christmas. You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

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